October, Sluttiest of Months

A banner has appeared outside Kerr Hall, the UNC School of Pharmacy building in which I now spend most of my time, learning things about Excel that I never wanted to know. The banner reads: “October is National Pharmacists Month.” When I saw it, I thought, hasn’t October already been claimed as National Breast Cancer Awareness Month? How will the pharmacists compete with the army of pink flooding the streets of October? And, wait, isn’t October also National LGBT History Month? And National Book Month? And National Pizza Month? And National Rochelle’s Birthday Awareness Month? (Be aware of it.)

Some internet research has turned up a disturbing amount of causes that have claimed October as their official month.

Aside from a whole slew of health issues, some of which are catalogued here, and included in my list below, October seems very concerned with food.  The fact that it’s Hunger Awareness Month shouldn’t be a problem, as it’s also National Pretzel Month, National Chili Month, National Caramel Month, National Pickled Peppers Month, National Seafood Month, National Apple Month, National Cookie Month, National Popcorn Popping Month, National Eat Country Ham Month, National Sausage Month, National Pork Month (guess it’s not National Slaughterhouse Awareness Month), National Restaurant Hospitality Month, National Spinach-Lovers’ Month, All American Breakfast Month, Gourmet Adventures Month, and National Cook Book Month.

Some October causes are blatantly commercial: National Kitchen and Bath Month.

Tied with National Rollerskating Month as my favorite October designation: National Sarcastic Awareness Month. (Perhaps a response to awareness overload?)

Can one really be aware of so many disparate and important causes at once (rollerskating and breakfast)? Doesn’t all this frivolous awareness dilute October’s pool of consciousness to the point at which nobody can be very aware of anything (if anybody ever was)? I’ve come to the conclusion that these designations are fairly meaningless, and that October is the sluttiest of all months, offering herself up to any schmuck with a cause. I can jump on that train. Why not National Cat Bed Month? Let’s pair that with National Homeless Cat Month. How about National Tablecloth Month? National October Month? National ‘National Month’ Month?

Here is a short list of October causes, not including those I’ve already mentioned:

Adopt a Shelter Dog Month
Computer Learning Month
National Cosmetology Month
Country Music Month
Disability Employment Awareness Month
Diversity Awareness Month
Emergency Care Month
Family History Month
German-American Heritage Month
National AIDS Awareness Month
National Applejack Month (What the hell is an applejack? you ask. This.)
Clergy Appreciation Month
National Computer Learning Month
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
International Drum Month
Lupus Awareness Month
National Diabetes Month
National Vegetarian Month
National Depression Education and Awareness Month
Polish American Heritage Month
National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Month
National Toilet Tank Repair Month
Children’s Magazine Month
National Ergonomics Months
Squirrel Awareness Month
National Down Syndrome Month
National Stamp Collecting Month
National Liver Awareness Month (Be aware that you have one?)
Celiac Disease Awareness Month

(Homeless Cat)



2 thoughts on “October, Sluttiest of Months

  1. Brooks

    October certainly has enough going for it without needing to dilute itself, right?

    Just wanted to say that your blog looks great. I had no idea you were on WordPress too. Having started up a few weeks ago, I have to say, it’s kind of nice not having to face rejection every time you want to publish something! Just a nice, warm feeling for a writer. Hope things are well back in NC. Talk to you soon!

  2. rahurt Post author

    Thanks, Brooks. It is pretty nice to have a space for writing whatever I feel like writing, but I’m a pretty lazy blogger. My plan was to have more photos, but after WY, that didn’t really pan out…

    [http://writingthebases.com] looks great. Even as someone who’s not a big sports fan, I like reading it — you can’t go wrong with references to Seinfeld and old video games.


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